Happy new year, everyone! Instead of a “best of / highlights” post (let’s face it, it’s a bit late for a year ender, haha!), I thought I’d let you in on the 2014 learnings and realizations I’m bringing along to this new year. It’s important to travel light, so let’s leave all negativities and drama in the past and meet the coming year head on with courage and a renewed zeal for life. I hope these 10 things will provide you with a base to do so. 🙂
1. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
This is a line uttered by Malcolm Merlin and I think I’ve been overusing it ever since watching that Arrow episode. Shit will always happen. How you deal with it is up to you. Find the bright side. You don’t have to be all peachy about your loss, but push yourself to move on and not wallow in misery. YOU HAVE A CHOICE. Pain and suffering are thought to be one and the same, but what I’ve realized, as nicely worded by Malcolm, was that it isn’t. Suffering through pain is a choice – your choice.
2. People change, and sometimes, it’s not them but us who do.
It’s normal for people to grow apart. It’s not always okay but it’s normal. Don’t resent them if they do, and don’t beat yourself up for it if you did. The only person you’re capable of changing is yourself, so if you don’t like the you you’ve become, do something about it. If you don’t like who they’ve become, it’s not your call. But here’s where the line gets tricky.. If you’re objectively sure they’re causing harm to themselves and those around them, it’s your responsibility as a friend to speak your mind. They say that real friends will stick with you through anything, but remember that like all relationships, it’s a 2-way street that requires effort from both parties.
3. Selfishness can get you places, but too much of it will lead you nowhere.
Yes, it’s important to be assertive and to push for what you want. However, we also have to be considerate to the people around us or else we – as in everyone – would more than likely end up in a less than favorable scenario. Take this example, on our way to Tagaytay, these dumbass cars wanted to overtake and cut. It would’ve been okay if we were in a highway with moving traffic, but we were in a standstill on a two-lane uphill road. Sure, you want to get to Tagaytay already, but dude, everyone is in the same predicament as you. You got ahead from where you originally were in the queue, yes, but you ended up jamming both lanes and causing delays on both sides (I’ll draw a diagram should you require it) in the process. It’s the same thing with marketers or companies who try to earn money by embellishing their products. With reference to Seth Godin’s book, you can deceive your customers and earn for a little while, but in the long run, you’ll end up losing coz they’ll never return.
4. Another person’s success isn’t your failure.
I read this somewhere and it really struck me. My peers and I are currently at different stages of our careers and thanks to social media, we can easily track each others’ progress. Accomplishments are not a limited edition, non-renewable, one-time thing. Just because someone claimed an achievement, it doesn’t mean there’s no more stock of said accomplishment. If person A excels at Task 1, it doesn’t follow that Person B sucks at Task 1. There’s so much success to pass around. Always remember that there’s more than one way in arriving at a destination. Stop comparing!!! This isn’t a race but if you have to compete with someone, try to outbetter yourself.
5. There is nothing quite like family.
Family is one of the first gifts we receive upon birth, and it’s the one that sticks with us all throughout. Sure there are disagreements and it may not always be smooth sailing, but at the end of the day, they’re the ones who will always have your back – proven and tested this in 2014. They’ve seen you since you were in diapers and it’s a fact that they know you better than most people, but through it all, antics at attitudes included, they still accept you. Don’t take them for granted and remember to show every member the same love and courtesy you’ve been given. It’s hard to put in in words, but my heart is just at peace when I’m surrounded by my family. 🙂
6. The little things are just as important.
It’s important to focus on the little things as it comprises the big picture. If a task is daunting, divide it into chunks and it will be more bearable. This learning especially applied to me when it came to saving and other money matters. I should’ve done it sooner but I’m proud I was able to save up this 2014. Set aside money per month and you’ll be happily looking at the lump sum come December. The same goes with expenditures! See where your “small” money regularly goes and you can easily find areas of overspending (aka: new avenues for saving!). The thing about saving is once you get started, it can get pretty addicting. You start out small but as you see it grow, you’ll be motivated and be all “more, more, morrrreeee!”. Caveat: please remember that it’s also important to live a life. Spend on things that matter and remember to share, experience will always be a good investment. 😉
7. An open mind is crucial!
2014 was the year where jihads, apostasis, and boko haram made global headlines. All these issues, at its core, are based on rejecting and trying to eradicate those who are different from us. In a negotiation, Difficult conversations urge you to listen to the other party as their truth makes sense to them. It’s your job to find out why as you explain your truth. A line must also be drawn between preference and morality. Some people believe that choice of religion falls under morality, where in reality, it’s just a preference. What you do with your beliefs and how you enact it as you engage with the world is what reflects morality. We have to keep an open mind and remember that culture and geography have shaped our differences, but is our humanity and the innate goodness within that unites us.
8. Dating a friend makes all the difference. Especially if it’s your best friend.
I’ll be honest, my sense of humour isn’t like most people’s. Sometimes everyone’s laughing and I’m smiling politely not because I don’t get it (ok, sometimes) but because I don’t find it funny. Being able to laugh hysterically with someone is something I value because it shows how much they get me and I get them. This only happens when trust has been established, normally with a friend. It’s sweeter because they know you – and vice versa – and not just the image projected in their minds. They see you as you are and they recognize your potential and your worth even if you yourself are struggling to see it. I’m not telling you to go through your roster of friends and just randomly choose one, I’m telling you to turn your significant other into a legit friend, if he/she isn’t yet.
9. Taking care of your body is always a good idea.
We only get one body and it will be with us for as long as we live so it deserves truckloads of TLC. I admit I fell short of proper diet and exercise last year, but it’s something I am actively working on now. It is also important to get enough sleep to recharge your body. Think of it this way, it is better to pass up a night out and rest for a day rather than push yourself and turn ill for a week. Prevention is better than cure! With that said, it’s a good idea to start your skin care regimen. If you’re too lazy to put sunblock, watch this video.
10. Idea and follow through must always go hand in hand.
There are thinkers and there are doers, yes, but if you want to get ahead, you should be both. Got a brilliant idea? Strike while the iron is hot! Don’t procrastinate and act on it! Be it a full-blown business plan or simply jotting it in a notebook, put it into writing to help you remember. Match your excitement with discipline, your best-selling product will not create itself. It will require time and effort and there’ll be instances that you’d be sidetracked and opt for the easier route (aka: be lazy, procrastinate, or give up) and that’s where your discipline and determination comes in. Like the HSBC ad in Changi T1, funny how many nights it takes to be an overnight success. If you want something GO FOR IT but please remember number 3.
Here’s to an amazing 2015!
xx