IS THERE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS?
Once in a while we ask ourselves this question – if you’re lucky, in awe, but often times in exasperation. Quarter-life crisis, Saturn return, whatever name you call it, for some more than others young adulthood will require a shift as we find ourselves uttering this question more and more frequently. This is completely normal. I know it can make someone feel really anxious, helpless and depressed but the best thing you can do is, stay with me here, ride it out.
WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO WALLOW IN THIS?
Not wallow per se, but immerse yourself. Get beyond the discomfort and discover its source. There’s worse things you can do than doing nothing (for now) like sweeping it under the rug. Please, do not do this. Do not ignore this bubbling restlessness. You will only be prolonging the agony. This is counterproductive because as you save yourself from present discomfort, you are only setting yourself up for long term, more enduring discomfort that will make its presence felt subtly at first, and then more and more frequently and intensely. It’s best to deal with it now, than putting it off for later and actually spending more time carrying it than being rid of it.
A better course of action although not the most optimal is jumping at it straight away without giving further thought. Discomfort? Let me get out of this situation, stat. Break up. File my resignation. Leave the country. Yes, you were able to remove yourself from a place you feel no longer serves you or your purpose – but what next? When you do this without pausing to think and plan, you allow yourself to be pulled by every whim. Today you’ll do this, tomorrow you’ll do that, and chances are, you’ll be left with a ton of unfinished projects. You need to focus on a direction.
You can change when you know there is a need to change. Figure out why exactly you are dissatisfied as it will reflect areas in your life that you value. From there, you can use it as a jumping point to defining what you want. What would improve the situation you are dissatisfied with? Be as detailed as possible and do not let limiting beliefs like “I can’t” or “no, it’s too much”. When you know what you want, you can calibrate your next steps better and you can make decisions easier; that is, if and only if you are willing to commit to making a change. When you know what you value, you also know what is worth persevering for. You’ll accept challenges and hardships openly because you place value to what it’s for.
For example, you’ve committed to being fit and healthy. You know you’re doing it because you want to have a longer life with your family and that looking good on the outside boosts your confidence and makes you feel good on the inside, not to mention the boost of energy that it gives you which allows you to be more productive. So you start working out – and it’s EXCRUCIATING. But you power through because you know WHY you are doing it and to be frank, it’s something that MEANS something to you. Compare that to someone who knows why they should be working out but don’t really find importance in health – they wouldn’t have as much reason to commit.
There’s a caveat to planning though – don’t take it to the point that you think too long and leave it just that – plans not concretized. You can’t guarantee every step along the way, at some point you just have to dive in. But only after making sure it’s deep enough so you don’t end up breaking your bones.
As you’ve pretty much concluded by now, it is all about finding that elusive middle. The balance between acting too quicky and not acting at all, the balance between planning and execution, the balance between what feels good and the work you have to put.
The next time you feel dissatisfied about your life, don’t brush it off. It’s an invitation from the Universe to transform your life. Figure out where it is coming from, recognize the direction you want to pursue, and just go for it.
xx
Reg