I like talking about love and relationships. I like asking the sometimes too private questions of how did you meet, what made it work, when did you realize he\u2019s the one, what\u2019s your song – what happened, basically. As much as I enjoy a lively (or awkward, depending on the other person) discourse, I also relish being able to delve in these topics alone. Hence, I write.<\/p>\n

Be it my own personal experience, or based on someone else\u2019s (both fictional and otherwise), I like finding and making mental notes of common themes and values. Writing it down is effective in streamlining my consciousness and finding nuggets of wisdom about the world and myself.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always thought nothing of this fascination of mine, but an aunt (who has fast become a favorite) made a simple yet rather astute observation:- I had parents whose marriage didn\u2019t work. Of course! <\/i><\/b>And I\u2019m supposed to be the psychology major!! Sigmund Freud must be rolling in his grave at how long it took for me to arrive at this revelation. I mean, yes, there are other factors involved too, but isn’t this the most psychoanalytic? Hehe! And let’s be clear,  saying \u201cyou chose this field because you\u2019re a girl\u201d is sexist.<\/p>\n

Like what Taylor Swift said, dudes like Ed Sheeran and Bruno Mars write about exes but nobody makes a huge fuss as they do over Taylor\u2019s songs. In the same vein, the editor of my favorite column, The New York Times\u2019 Modern Love, is a man. Heck, even the most famous love story ever told, Romeo and Juliet (or Love in the Time of Cholera, or The Notebook) was written by a guy. I write because my curiosity directed me to this path, not my gender.<\/u><\/p>\n

Thing is though, no matter how much I like doing this, there are times I wished I\u2019d written about economics or finance instead. Not only does it probably pay more, but this craft involves digging up the past – and worse, wounds<\/i>. There are some flashbacks that never seem to lose its hold. And when you encounter one of those gripping cringe-worthy, heartbreaking, breath-taking memories, it can get damn uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Much so that there are even instances when I\u2019d stop midway for fear of what I\u2019ll end up writing.<\/p>\n

You see, in hindsight, you can  end up facing the ugliest version of you. And no, I don’t mean bad haircuts. Looking back, I\u2019ve seen clearly that I wasn\u2019t the heroine I believed myself to be<\/u>. No one\u2019s perfect but it still sucks to realize that you were actually the bitch. Ouch!<\/p>\n

But self-deprecation isn\u2019t even the toughest part. It\u2019s revealing someone else\u2019s impact on me that I find most difficult. As much as I don\u2019t want to show my aces and keep some things bottled up to myself, sometimes, as any writer will tell you, there are words and stories that are just begging to be put out there<\/u><\/b>. And more often than not, these inspired pieces end up being our better works. And, hello, which sane writer will tell you that they don\u2019t want that??<\/p>\n

So, I write. Even if it means walking the tightrope in portraying a person, who most likely doesn\u2019t even have a clue I’m writing about them, without glorifying or antagonising them too much<\/i>. This is me baring my soul the best way I know how. This is not some attempt to persecute nor extol you. Narcissistic as it sounds, this is all about ME. But putting it out there means putting it out to your world too, so I tread carefully to balance both my literary and moral integrity. I do my best, at least I try to.<\/p>\n

It must be noted, however, that what\u2019s written in the present doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s current<\/b>, regardless of what tense I used. There\u2019d be times I\u2019ll talk about you or me or us after the fact. It doesn\u2019t automatically mean that I still harbor feelings towards you, it just means that I\u2019ve sorted the situation and my emotions and I feel that someone – at the very least, me – may pick up something from it.<\/p>\n

But sometimes, it\u2019s not really you or me or us that I\u2019m talking about – even if it feels a lot like it. Some are inspired by actual moments but it\u2019s likely that I may have romanticized or tweaked it to pack some punch to the message I want to convey.<\/p>\n

Not everything is personal either. Other times, it\u2019s all entirely fiction or based on something I’ve heard. Wish fulfilment, sublimation, whatever you want to call it. Point is, I\u2019m not talking about you and I\u2019m not talking about myself. And no, I will not tell you which is which. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

So here’s to words and writing, and talking about love and other things. I plan on filling this blog up the way I used to fill my LiveJournal and Xanga secret blogs, so I’ll let this disclaimer sit out here, just in case.<\/p>\n