\nCheck out my second Thought Catalog<\/a> piece. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Before You Go Running Back To Your Ex<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n
Breaking up sucks. Whether it’s saying goodbye to
\nyour high school sweetheart turned long term partner or going cold turkey on
\nsomeone who sorta is\/sorta not your boyfriend; whether you’ve been together –
\nFacebook official or not – for 3 weeks or 3 years, breaking up sucks.<\/p><\/div>\n
\n
\n <\/a><\/div>\n
\nAnd on some days, it’s gonna suck even more. You
\nhear the Ellie Goulding song that was playing in the background when you first
\nrealized you were in love (or some semblance of), you pass by “your”
\nbrunch spot, you see a Friends re-run, or you stumble across some random
\nrelationship memorabilia. You were fine then suddenly you’re bursting in tears
\nsinging along with Ellie “love me like you do, love me, love me like
\nyou do<\/i>“.<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nBefore you start running back to your ex, let me
\nfirst give you a harsh reality check.<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nIt’s called a break-up because something was
\nbroken.<\/b> Surely there is a reason why you decided to call it quits.<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nYes, it’s one thing to be sad about cutting ties
\nwith a person you’ve grown close and rather quite fond of (for the most part),
\nbut add in the person you were supposed to backpack through Europe with or to
\nhave a white picket fence with? It’s a whole ‘nother ball game. Truth is,
\nheart aches become 10x more painful as we weep over the possibilities that came
\nwith that someone. Yes, we break up with an actual person, but we also let go
\nof hopes, dreams, and plans. Although you may argue that it’s impossible not to
\nmourn losing both, I am urging you not to let the maybes cloud your judgment of
\nthe what is. Your imagined scenarios are designed to be flawless \u2013 they\u2019re
\nfilled with your ideals. Remember that although your what if\u2019s are
\npossible, they aren’t 100% certain. What is real is now and the fact that it
\nisn’t working.<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nWho said anything about wanting to get back
\ntogether?! I just wanted to inform him that there’s a Friends marathon on
\nTV\/our brunch place is under renovation\/I found the earphones I thought I’d
\nlost. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! <\/i><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nLOTS. It goes to show that he’s still your main
\nman, and by now, he shouldn’t be. In doing so, you are positioning yourself in
\na lose-lose situation – either he gives you the cold shoulder or he invites you
\nback to a burning house. I\u2019m not saying that you’ll never be friends, but if
\nyou just broke up, it’s best to give yourselves some time and space. And if you
\nreally need<\/i> to talk about these things to someone, share it on
\nTwitter or Facebook instead.<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nOk fine, I’m a hopeless romantic. I want to make
\nit work.<\/i><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nHoney, you’re being hopeless. Period. A true
\nromantic would look for someone who brings butterflies and fireworks, someone
\nwho will love you the way you want to be loved. A real hopeless romantic will
\nnot settle. So cut the crap, and have faith that you will find the love you
\ndeserve. <\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nBut he can change! <\/i><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nYou’ve said that how many times before you actually
\ndecided to end things? And did he really? Are you supposed to just wait and
\nwait forever because maybe<\/i> he’ll change? Who are you kidding?!
\nYes, maybe he can change, but the question is, does he want to? We try to
\nhold on to possibilities but in reality, we’re closing ourselves off actual
\nopportunities.<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nBut I can change! <\/i><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nIf you’re gonna settle and choose to live a life
\nyou dislike all for the sake of keeping him around, fine. Run back to him! But
\nas you change back your relationship status and start counting the likes, are
\nyou honest to goodness happy? Trying to be someone you’re not takes a lot more
\neffort than being who you really are. As you sacrifice bits and pieces of your
\nidentity, sooner or later, you’re gonna find an empty vacuum where your soul
\nused to be. At this point, finding your happiness will be close to impossible
\nas you wouldn\u2019t even be able to define who \u201cyou\u201d are, more so what makes \u201cyou\u201d
\nhappy. <\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nBut I can be a better person! <\/i><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nSooooo, you were the one who sucked the first
\nround, ey? Read the above points again, and if you’ve come to the same
\nconclusion that you can be better not just because your ex has turned into an
\nideal, or because looking back, you feel like it was actually not bad, and it’s
\nsomething you can “live with” – but because you feel that what you
\nhad was great, that he was an amazing person and it’s just dumb to let him go,
\nthen it\u2019s time you get off the computer and figure out your core issues. What
\nmade you distant? What made you snap? Talk openly about these and importantly,
\ntalk about what you\u2019re gonna do about it. Because if you want to run back to
\nyour ex, you don\u2019t just anyhow drop everything and go after him at the
\nslightest discomfort of being single. You think it through with your head and
\nfor the heart. When you do decide that it\u2019s worth another go, make your way towards
\nhim with meaning and purpose in each stride and hope to God he meets you
\nhalfway \u2013 preferably sprinting. <\/div>\n
<\/p>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Check out my second Thought Catalog piece. \ud83d\ude42 Before You Go Running Back To Your Ex Breaking up sucks. Whether it’s saying goodbye to your high school sweetheart turned long term partner or going cold turkey on someone who sorta is\/sorta not your boyfriend; whether you’ve been together – Facebook official or not – for 3 weeks… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3445,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pgc_meta":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[18],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/heyrocketgirlbeforeyourunbacktoyourex.png?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p81VdT-cj","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/763"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=763"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/763\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3446,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/763\/revisions\/3446"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=763"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=763"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heyrocketgirl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=763"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}