I’ve been embarking on a new role which at times I find to be very uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t involve physical pain or anything, it’s just that sometimes my fear of rejection (and failure and imperfection) psychologically handicaps me. Sometimes I spend so long trying to make sure I compose a perfect game plan that I just take too long that I lose momentum, and at worst – I end up putting it off. When I catch myself taking too much time over a single task, sometimes even nitpicking every single punctuation, I tell myself to chill.
More often than not, this fixation with wanting to be perfect will lead to more damage. Not only do you lose precious time, you end up putting unnecessary pressure on yourself which can lead to a weakened performance coz of the nerves. There is no such thing as a perfect person nor even a perfect email. Not that you should be careless too! Put yourself in the other person’s position and see the situation from their side. If it’s something you personally and utterly believe is acceptable, provided that you’re making an informed decision, then GO.
Sometimes, scared as you are, you just have to take the leap. You will be surprised by your capabilities. Either you find out you’re better than you give yourself credit for a certain skill or you discover how resilient you really are – how a “NO” isn’t as bad as you thought.
You have to remember to not take things – especially work! – personally because at the end of the day, everyone is just doing their jobs. Don’t take rejection to heart because it’s not a jab at you as a person. They’re just doing their job; just like you’re doing yours. This thought is also a reminder to be patient and be kind to everyone. Unfortunately, this isn’t a memo that everyone received and encountering difficult people is very much common. DO NOT BE ONE OF THEM. If you can make the world a slightly better place, even for just one person, then why not?!
That said, I am lucky to be surrounded by seasoned superiors. I honestly enjoy seeing them in action in an environment I find so intimidating. It’s really impressive how they’re able to navigate through it unfazed. I get so inspired and I’m like, I wanna be like that too!
What’s awesome is they’re humble to share that they also suffered from nerves in the beginning. Confidence comes from knowing your shit. And how do you know your shit? EXPERIENCE. You have to go through it, to immerse in it, to fully know it. Theory is empty without practice. You can’t go to Point B without Point A. There is value to the struggle. Embrace the uncertainty and know that it’s growing pains you’re feeling. Remember that you’ve been in this predicament before, the beginning of a new life stage, and that you were able to surmount the challenges then. You have to start from somewhere. In the wise words of Kanye West – “look, you need to crawl before you ball“. Don’t get paralyzed by the illusion of being perfect. Stop holding yourself to unattainable standards, and just do.
It will get better but only if you put some good ol’ hard work in. It’s an onward march that only you can do for yourself.
You can do it.
