Saturday, June 25, 2016

BEDROOM TOUR


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If last weekend's entry was all about going out for a drink, this post is a complete 180. It's me giving you a room tour! Okay, so, technically, this was my room in Singapore. It has since been disassembled and packed in boxes that have yet to arrive in Manila. I spent almost 3 years in this room and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. It was mine, y'know? Anyway, let's begin the tour before I get senti.

Friday, June 24, 2016

THE SEARCH FOR SOMETHING MORE


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Sometimes I wonder if I'm asking too much out of life. What if things are already as good as it gets and I keep pushing to forego it in the hopes of something better? What if along the way, I lose it? What if further down the road, I end up regretting decisions I've made?

These past few months, I've been feeling like I wanted more. I have to make a distinction that it was a WANT rather than a NEED. I don't need more. I know that I have more than necessary, and that I have been very fortunate, and yes, I am grateful.

And I still want more.

What some people fail to realize is that desiring more out of life doesn't mean you do not appreciate whatever you have now. It isn't either or; they don't cancel each other out! There's this notion that those who aren't satisfied with what they have or where they are "ungrateful" or "selfish" or "bad" and this has to stop. Some people are inclined to strive for greater things. Heck, our very reality - our surroundings, our technology, and the many various industries - is the result of someone's vision of the what could be. There's no need to shame others for wanting to venture through their life's own course even if it looks nothing like ours. Are we really going to say that we know THEIR path, THEIR motivations, and THEIR experiences better than THEY do?! Besides, there's a huge difference between creating value and taking it from someone else. There's nothing wrong with working and attaining more for yourself (but blatantly disregarding another person's dignity for your own benefit is another story). So, say it with me, it's okay to want more.

After making peace with the guilt of wanting comes fear. What if I lose everything? What if instead of the "enough" I started out with, I end up with nothing? I begin to question my intensions and if I should even go through with this search for something more. It's scary because there are no guarantees. Even if I take a calculated risk, it's still in its very essence a risk.

At this point, you become apprehensive and start telling yourself that maybe you're okay with everything as it is after all. But you're not. Believe me when I tell you that it will eat you up and it will nag at you. One of the things that really stuck with me after reading The Good Psychopath is how good psychopaths base their choices on possible-gains rather than loss-aversion. What is to gain will far outweigh whatever it is that you stand to lose. What if you gain everything? 

At the end of the day, it really boils down to what is it that you want and how important it is to you. I may be asking too much out of life, but if I don't, I am 100% certain that I will beat myself up later on if I didn't at least try to create the life I've always wanted.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

CURRENTLY NO. 14


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Currently No. 14:- I'm currently at Pico De Loro (above photo was taken yesterday at sunset!) with my high school barkada. Before you shame me for not spending time with them and being the slave-to-social-media-cliche, no one's awake yet because we spent last night talking til 4:30 am. Hehe! Good times!

READING
All my books are still making its way across the ocean from Singapore to Manila and I have imposed a ban on buying until I finish everything. So, yeah, at the moment, I'm not reading anything. Except maybe job descriptions and Mar Roxas' blog, hehe!

WRITING 
Okay, is it annoying how I always answer "blog posts" in this section?

LISTENING
Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse. It played the night before during the car ride to Batangas and it reminded me of how much I looooved this song. Still do. ;)  

THINKING 
Of how awesome balconies are. I'm here at the balcony of my friend's condo merrily typing this post and I am enjoying the fresh air, the nature sounds and just the whole chill vibe of it. I WANT ONE!!! Preferably attached to my own flat too, haha!

FEELING 
Inspired. I just drafted a personal piece and seriously, sometimes, you start with this idea and as you type, it leads you to other places, peeling off layers, and giving you a deeper sense of your thoughts and situation. I love how writing, at times, feels exactly how Liz Gilbert described it in her TedTalk - that it isn't YOU writing a story, it's the story finding you and letting you write it.

LOVING
The past couple of days with my barkada. :) We watched both Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies, and there was this line - how do we find ourselves without losing each other? It's amazing how even if life has brought us to different places literally and figuratively, we're still the same bunch of girls who would love and support each other no matter what. And it's awesome how our small group has expanded to include boyfriends and a husband just as incredible as my best girls.

WANTING
To solo travel. What's stopping you, Reg?! You've been thinking about it since you were 25. And what, you're 27 now. It's even in your Travel Bucket List, remember?! GO NA!!! Stop making excuses.

NEEDING 
To touch base and visit Gesu. It has been somewhat a tradition of mine to pop by and spend some time reflecting and gathering thoughts (and strength and courage, hehe!). I told myself I'd visit when I got back, but I've been a bit busy (I hate this excuse!) these past days and I promise I'll do it within this week or the next.

WISHING
For patience. Lots and lots of it especially now that I'm living back at home.

So anyway, enough about me. How are you guys!? How's your week going so far?! What are you currently reading!? Would love your book and blog recommendations! ;)



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