I’VE BEEN THINKING MORE AND MORE ABOUT MORTALITY. What for? You’re only thirty one. That’s precisely it. I’m thirty one and I don’t think I’ve thought about it enough. I don’t mean planning my funeral and what the afterlife holds. There’s not much detail to this “me thinking about mortality” actually, more of just a nagging reminder that hey, you don’t have unlimited time here. Heck, you’re not even guaranteed tomorrow. It’s something I may have took for granted because I’m only thirty one.
With a global pandemic to boot, the urgency of making your life matter is all the more pressing. Bronnie Ware, the palliative nurse who listed down the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying said it beautifully: “From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.” You don’t have to test positive to feel the effects of this vicious invisible enemy that has invaded our normalcy. Yes, you’re alive, but are you really alive? Are you living out the life that only you can bring to the table? Are you living life or merely passing through it? Are you living YOUR life or someone else’s? These are questions that must be addressed now and not towards the end so as not to become a statistic of the most common regret: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
This quote by Martin Buber says it best: The Rabbi Zusya said a short time before his death, “In the world to come, I shall not be asked, ‘Why were you not Moses?’ Instead, I shall be asked, ‘Why were you not Zusya?'” This really struck me. We were not put in this world to be someone else. I will be gushing about the miracle of life again here, but the odds of you being alive, of you being here and now, are basically ZERO. How amazing is that?! Isn’t that enough validation for YOU being who you are, AS YOU ARE?! And how it’s basically your responsibility to, in the now t-shirt cliche sentiments of Oscar Wilde, BE YOURSELF COZ EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN.
And I know it’s easier said than done! Some people hit the ground running, having had their life plan formulated early on. Admittedly, I am not one of those people. I guess it’s a mix of having all these stereotypes and so called “pressures” that I have to unlearn coupled with finding a healthier way of dealing with the tyranny of choice.
So these past weeks, I’ve been diving deep, going all-in to fully commit to life. And I hope, if you haven’t yet, that you do too. It’s a unique journey, and we may be on different timelines. Do not compare yours with other people’s pace but remember to KEEP CARRYING ON. It sucks that there had to be a pandemic for me to slow down and really think about my life and face myself head on. But it’s here – might as well use today to exercise our (aweso)me-ness.
What about you? Are you REALLY alive? What makes you “YOU” and what have you been doing to honor it? Would love to hear your thoughts below!
xx
Reg