HOW MUCH OF THE PRESSURE WE’RE FEELING IS ACTUALLY REAL? I ask because upon discussing why I don’t write as much as I would like to, it surfaced that the pressure of living up to “expectations” gets the better of me. Like what if what I write sucks? What if it doesn’t resonate with anybody else? What if I let the handful of people who do read this blog down because what I put out there is less than what they were hoping to get? Are these all in my head? (Yes.) But if so, how come its effects on me are all too real?
I attended a webinar today and the guest speaker touched upon how consistency in creating is better than producing once in a blue moon amazing content. This makes so much sense and it’s something not only did I work on circa 2011 – it was also something I greatly enjoyed. Somewhere along the way, I let doubt and fear creep in – Who do you think you are? Who cares about what you have to say? Someone else has already said what you’re writing! Worse, I allowed this negativity to brew that even during the times I get over that initial hurdle and put myself out there, I worry that I wouldn’t be able to live it up with the next one. Which is glaringly obvious as I write it down now, TOTALLY UNNECESSARY.
If the pressures I’m feeling are real, it begs to be asked – HOW MUCH OF THE PRESSURE I’M FEELING ACTUALLY MATTER? Will I die if nobody cared about what I said? Nope! Did I feel good making it? Yes! What if what I write touches even just ONE other person? OVER THE MOON. That definitely adds to my life. There isn’t much of a risk, actually.
Of course, I am not discounting the fact that pressure makes diamonds. Pressure brings about growth and progress. Pressure makes us give our full 100% instead of merely coasting with 80%. We just have to look out for the possibility of pressure turning toxic; where instead of moving, we end up freezing. This pressure we have to breakdown: where is it coming from? Is it real or imaginary? Does it really matter? If not, why not just walk away? Sometimes it’s imaginary but it matters, sometimes it’s real but it doesn’t matter – acknowledge if there’s a disconnect, you’ll be able to deal with it better when you do. Yes, pressure is there to create diamonds – but know also when pressure will kill you. If not physically, then the parts of you that make you radiate with peace, joy and love. Protect and serve that part at all cost.
It’s not just with writing though. There’s societal norms that we feel we have to abide by even if our truths do not align. The “pressure” to get married and have kids at a certain age, climb up the career ladder, basically be successful based on the criteria our parents’ parents embedded on them. This is YOUR life. You know your truths best. Yes, guidance and support is more than welcome. But at the end of the day, YOUR LIFE IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. And I know this seems like so much pressure to get your life right, but guess what, you already got this. If there’s one person who can easily steer your life with their eyes closed to where it’s supposed to be – it’s you. Trust your gut. Get to know yourself deeper. Connect with God, the Universe, the Holy Spirit, and your soul for your purpose. Then live as only you can. (No pressure.)
What about you? Any thoughts on pressure? Have you gone through something similar? Would love to hear what works for you.♥
Being a law student and government employee (both at the same time), I live and breathe pressure. But if there’s one thing I learned and had been doing, it is to accept the fact that there are things we really cannot change, and that all our choices have their consequences.
People ask me if I get a lot of pressure from work and law school. Hindi naman daw halata kasi blooming daw ako. I always reply to them with, “Choice kong maging masaya habang nape-pressure”.
When we accept the fact that there are things we cannot control, and that all our actions will always have unexpected consequences, you don’t feel as much pressure. Also, this allows you to open yourself to improvements.
Finally, I pray to God. I always ask for His guidance and wisdom. I ask for courage to stand up for whatever ramification each of my actions or choices will have.
Sorry, ang daldal ko. Dami kong sinabi. Hahaha! Your piece is a thought-provoking and well crafted, that’s why I enjoyed engaging on this mental exercise.
Best,
Tina
https://www.totetallylegal.com
Hi Tina!
I’m really glad you shared what gets you through, especially coz omg, you *do* live and breathe pressure. I can only imagine how it is to juggle the demands of both work and law school! I like what you said about accepting that our choices always have consequences and at the same time, there are some things we really cannot control. As much as we want to control everything, we can’t and that’s why it’s important to pray. ♥️ Thank you for this reminder!!!
x Reg